Scorn Review

Scorn compiled by Matthew Parris

Happy Valentine’s Day! I hope you all have a great day, and I would like to point out that reviewing a book of insults has nothing to do with today being Valentine’s Day. Lots of love to you and your books!

Scorn gave me a great evening of reading, as well as lots of insults to harass my family with. It describes itself as the ‘wittiest and wickedest insults in human history’, and it certainly includes some brilliant insults. They are arranged in several sections, including religion, class, places, morality, politics and ancient curses. Some of the insults were funnier than others, and it’s definitely important to read this book lightly and not take any of it too seriously. I didn’t find the political ones as funny as the others, but that is just personal preference- there really is something for everyone except younger readers who should under no circumstances read this.

There isn’t much else to say since it is just quote after quote, so I’m just going to list a few of my favourites here. Please do not take offense, the insults shown are supposed to be humorous and not to be taken seriously.

Never doubt the courage of the French. They are the ones who discovered snails are edible.

Doug Larson

Unmitigated noodles.

Kaiser Wilhelm II of Germany on the English

If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell.

General Philip Sheridan

Roast beef in human form.

Horace Walpole on the inhabitants of Norfolk

Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it is important.

Eugene J. McCarthy

Watching the eurozone countries trying to resolve their debt crisis has been like watching 17 people in oven gloves manipulating a Rubik’s cube.

John Lichfield

He occasionally stumbled over the truth, but hastily picked himself up and hurried on as if nothing had happened.

Winston Churchill on Stanley Baldwin

When they circumcised Herbert Samuel they threw away the wrong bit.

David Lloyd George. Attrib.

A writer is someone for whom writing is harder than it is for other people.

Thomas Mann

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, nobody knows what they are.

W. Somerset Maugham

Brass bands are all very well in their place – outdoors and several miles away.

Sir Thomas Beecham. Attrib.

A man with a fork in a world of soup.

Noel Gallagher on Liam Gallagher